So Long, Sweetheart
As travelers we are accustomed to saying goodbye to friends and loved ones. It’s just part of the deal when living this lifestyle. As the person doing the traveling, we have much to look forward to. It’s exciting. It’s what we love, and there’s so much ahead of us that we often don’t think about looking back at what we’re leaving behind. But, what happens when the shoe is on the other foot? What happens when we’re the ones being told goodbye?
Today I sent my husband off to the land of China for one or two months. Normally I would be excited because my bags would be sitting right next to his. This is not the case anymore since I am working again. For some reason, unlimited vacation time is frowned upon. We work for the same oil and gas company, in the same office. Problem? Nah. Because HE’S NEVER THERE!
“Where’s he this time?”
“How long is he going to be gone?”
“Is it hard to have him gone all the time?”
Dubai
I get this all the time. I don’t get tired of answering the questions; it’s just that the average person can’t relate to the answers. We lived in different cities for probably five of the eight years we dated. (Yes, we dated for eight years. Just had to make sure it would stick, I guess.) We got used to time apart, which made the time together all that more special. As a result of being alone, now we’re both independent-minded.
With Skype and instant messenger, things are much easier now. We make dates to “see” each other and talk at least once a day. The only difference, besides not being in the same time zone and the whole touching stuff, is that I take care of the dogs and things around the house by myself. I’m not silly enough to think this arrangement could last long term, but he’s doing what he needs to do in order to help us reach our goals.
“How do y’all handle all the time apart?”
My answer is, “We just do.”
Is it the most desirable situation? Nope.
South Korea
He gets to go to unbelievably awesome places, but by no means is his travel glamorous. Oftentimes he gets less than 24 hours notice and he always works at least 12 hours a day. I call him Superman, because he’s always flying in to save the day. He thinks nothing of a trip from Houston to China, and then three days later, flying from China to Paris to Rio. He’s actually flown around the world in seven days! Being gone 250 days per year is pretty much standard.
Norway
We tell each other that it’s worth it. Because in a decade we’ll be kayaking the bays of the Philippines, living as millionaires (albeit in Philippine Pesos), and laying on the beach. We’re not going to be thinking about how badly it sucked not being together for that six weeks in 2011. But until then, we’ll enjoy our time when he’s in town and make sure our Webcams are working.
How do you handle a loved one being gone due to travel?
Featured Photo: hjl via Flickr
Good read. This was also great advice: “Yes, we dated for eight years. Just had to make sure it would stick, I guess.”
Most people aren’t as patient as we are. Of course, this is the ONLY instance I am patient.
Love your point(s) of view about all aspects of your life!
Thanks for following along. I promise it’s not really that exciting. Maybe I should be a fiction writer…hummmmm…Kidding, of course.
For me, the problem is not so much handling a loved one being gone from travel, it’s meeting friends along the way that I miss most.
That’s certainly true too. We meet wonderful people throughout our travels, and thanks to email, Facebook, Twitter, and a million other social media outlets, we’re able to keep in touch better than we ever did before. It’s not the same though, is it? But making friends on the road gives us an excuse to go back and visit them.
Leah, you travel posts are so inspiring. They provide so much food for thought!
Anya recently posted..My Ultimate Bucket List
Thank you so much, Anya. I write what’s on my mind and in my heart. Most times I’m better at writing it out rather than speaking it out. I appreciate you stopping by again.
Hi Leah.. you brave heart you.. well written blog page… well done..
My philosophy is ‘make the best of this day, just today’.. so I wish you well in the time of absence from your ‘other half’.. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.. and think of all the plus’es.. like not having to cook huge meals daily, and having full control of the tv remote.. and watching your programmes on tv.. Don’t be lonely.. think of that kayak trip you’re planning. Keep well.. be in touch again soon,
j
ps.. here’s a great site.. (maybe you know about Simply Luxurious?) http://www.thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/
Why Not . . . Gather the Essentials for Life?
Posted: 14 Sep 2011 01:00 AM PDT
A universal quote that I discovered long ago on the topic of essentials for living a full life comes from Joseph Addison. “Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.” And while I couldn’t agree more, I’ve always wanted more specifics or more guidance if you will on exactly what each of these entail.
With the purpose of breaking down and putting into words exactly what essentials, when combined, make life truly fulfilling, I have come up with a list for you today.
Keeping in mind that life will never be perfect and that every person’s route to true contentment and fulfillment is different, I tried to examine what general elements are necessary ingredients as we each embark upon each of our unique paths. Here is what I came up with:
Gratitude
To appreciate life and all that is possible and has already been given to us is to live with intention and to be grateful. And in order to live fully we must live with intention. After all, life is so brief no matter how long each of us is granted on this earth and to appreciate this fact is to set ourselves right on the path that will lead to fulfillment.
Good Health
By having gratitude we are then able to appreciate what our bodies can do for us when we take care of them. By exercising regularly in a way that is challenging, yet enjoyable and by eating a balanced diet, our machine that will carry us to each experience will allow us to live to our fullest potential. Keeping a healthy mind is also something to include whether it is through meditation, prayer or other avenues. Click here to learn specific ways to take care of your body and here to learn how to get and stay in shape.
A Healthy Social Circle
As I shared last week, the ability to find balance in life between work and home is to create a healthy social circle in our personal lives that is uplifting and positive. Click here to learn about the specific elements that are needed to create this necessary part of life.
Be an Effective Communicator
Being able to effectively communicate with those you live with, are friends with or work with is essential to success everywhere in our lives. When we are able to clearly explain what we are feeling in a manner that is not attacking, hurtful or defensive, we then encourage others to respond in a similar respectful way. By keeping the lines of communication open, we help to create stronger relationships. While it is most helpful when we learn these positive behaviors by those around us in our childhood, it is still possible to acquire these necessary skills as an adult. Click here to learn more specifics on how to be heard and here to be a better listener.
Self-Confidence & Self-Respect
In order to live our own lives, to chase our own dreams and to successfully be the best person we can possibly be, each of us must know who we are, respect ourselves and be confident so much so as to be able to propel ourselves out into the world when those times arise when we doubt ourselves and our abilities.
A Purpose
Whether one’s purpose is in a particular career or in raising a family, each person must find their own fulfilling direction in life. This purpose must not be something that is placed upon us making us uncomfortable, but instead be something we are passionate about and can give to with our whole heart. When we have discovered our purpose, we have helped ourselves out by determined the direction of our lives. Now the purpose may change throughout the different stages of life, but the key is to listen to our hearts and trust that the we are capable of making the journey. Click here to learn more about how to discover your purpose.
Opportunities to Grow
No matter what our age, we must always be learning and growing. To learn is to allow ourselves to improve, discover new things and to feel alive. The world around us is constantly changing, and we too are dynamic creatures, so it is imperative that we look for new opportunities to learn something that piques our curiosity (a skill, a part of history, etc) to challenge our minds and forever remain young at heart. Click here to learn about ways to challenge yourself on a regular basis.
Ability to Find the Balance
There is so much of life that is unknown, the motives of the people around us, what awaits us in the future and what our past has prepared us for. Being able to know when to live in the moment, how to have a healthy sense of humor, and when it’s appropriate to look ahead and be cognizant of the consequences of our actions and when to let go are key skills to acquiring balance. Click here to learn specific ways on how to achieve a balance in your life because as we know it is a constant process that always demands our attention.
Acceptance of Life’s Cycles
Once each of us realizes and accepts that life will include ups and downs, births and deaths, successes and struggles, we are then capable of savoring and genuinely appreciating those moments of joy at a level that helps us get through those moments of sadness and frustration. This ability of acceptance also leads back the first essential for life – gratitude. Because it is when we understand that things can go wrong as easily as they can go right that we cheer that much more exuberantly for those moments of joy.
Hope
Ultimately, as long as we have hope for a better future, for a new day and for our dreams to come true, we will always bring that positive energy back to us. As stated in Monday’s Inspiration post, it is what we look for that we eventually find. So why not look for what we would prefer to see and experience
ps.. I gather so much from Shannon Ables.. she’s amazing!
I like how you point out the positives like the remote control. It’s important to find solace in the little things. The part that I still have problems with is getting use to him being back after having been gone for so long. Considering what WE are having for dinner instead of what I am having for dinner is just one of the little things.
I haven’t heard of Shannon Ables or her site. Thanks for turning me on to her. It’s beautiful and well-written. Plus, anyone who is a high school English teacher can’t be half bad (says the former high school English teacher).